Just in

The winner of the Bulwer-Lytton (who actually wrote the sentence "It was a dark and stormy night") Fiction Contest for pathetically bad writing was just announced. The winner is Jim Gleeson of Madison Wisconsin. Risking copyright lawsuits, his winning entry was:

Gerald began--but was interrupted by a piercing whistle which cost him ten percent of his hearing permanently, as it did everyone else in a ten-mile radius of the eruption, not that it mattered much because for them "permanently" meant the next ten minutes or so until buried by searing lava or suffocated by choking ash--to pee.

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